Smoker No Smoking!
by Tie4
Summary: Tashigi is attempting to read a book while fending off the gift of lung cancer from her commander Smoker. However when things just get to tough for the Petty officer, what is she to do? A humorous one shot. Be sure to review!


**I do not own any of these characters. Though they are great, no? Enjoy!**

**Smoker no Smoking!**

_

_Cough_

Really, did he have to smoke in here?

_Cough cough_

He had an entire ship he could lounge around and smoke as much as he'd like!

_Cough_

So why on everything that was good, was he smoking in her room.

_Cough cough_

On her bed.

_Cough_

Watching her.

Tashigi frowned at the pages of her book, trying very hard not to look bothered. This situation was not an uncommon thing. Smoker did have a tendency to wander aimlessly around the boat and in the end make his way back to wherever she was at that time. And usually she was not bothered by this at all! It was wonderful to have him always on hand when new information came in or she had a question. But her room? Really? Did he know no privacy?

Well...perhaps it wasn't the invasion of privacy that bugged her most. No it was the ventilation. Or more accurately the LACK of ventilation, fore her room had none. Therefore all the smoke that he continued to pour out had no place to go.

_Cough cough_

Except in her lungs.

_Cough_

She was seriously going to develop lung cancer one of these days.

Tashigi glanced at her commander from above her book. There he was, laying across her bed, hands placed behind his head and two cigars sitting in their designated spots between his white teeth. Smokers attention had diverted from her to the crack in the ceiling above him, making her feel a little more comfortable with staring at him. Although she supposed it didn't matter because they both could hardly see anything through the smoke.

_Cough cough_

She tried to get back to reading her book again.

_Cough_

But resistance was futile.

_Cough_

Just then Smoker stretched, making her jump slightly. He sat up. She looked up at him hopefully from her book. Was he going to leave? Could she finally vent her room out and breath fresh, clean air again?

But this was not to be. Instead of standing up, Smoker threw both cigars into the trash and grabbed two fresh ones from his shirt pocket. A fresh batch of smoke poured into the room, causing her to go into a coughing fit.

"_That does it._" She thought and a growl emitted from her throat. Without thinking her actions through, she snapped the forgotten book shut and shot up into a standing position. She stormed the three steps it took to reach him and glared. In return smoker looked up at her with a cocked eyebrow and a "hnn?" through his teeth.

Tashigi ripped both cigars from his mouth, stormed to the door, shoved it open and threw the foul things out of the room. She glared at his shocked face.

"SMOKER NO SMOKING!!"

Silence.

It was in this silence she realized what she had just done. She, Tashigi, had just grabbed and threw out Smokers (her commander) most treasured possessions. And to top that off she had just ordered HIM to cease and desist. Fear enveloped her insides as she stared into her commanders shell shocked eyes. Her only thought was, "_I'm going to die!_"

Smoker soon regained his composer and closed his eyes. He then let out a deep sigh and lowered his head. Unable to take the silence any longer Tashigi quickly bowed and stammered an apology.

"S-Smoker-san I am so sorry! I-I have acted childish and am willing to make a-any amends desired-"

As she spoke she heard him get to his feet and walk up to her, making her apology become much faster and indecipherable.

"Oi." He interrupted her, giving her a light punch on the back of her head. Her words come to a screeching halt and she anxiously looked up at him. Smoker shook his head and looked down at her with unamused eyes.

"Next time, Master Chief Petty Officer...just ask."

She let out a breath that she hadn't realized she was holding and stood up straight.

"H-hai!" She said, her voice soft from her humbling.

"Hn." He said, taking out two new cigars and lighting them. She stared in disbelief as he walked back over to the bed and fell onto it with an "oof".

"S-...sir?" She asked, frustration starting to build inside her again.

"Request denied." He answered simply. "Now get back to your book."

Tashigi gave a sigh of defeat and then, leaving the door open this time, she sat back down in her chair. She opened the book once again and skimmed to the page she had abandoned just moments ago.

"Oi."

She looked up just in time to catch a small object that Smoker had sent her way. After catching it she inspected the object. A small, portable fan with a stand.

She smiled and looked up at her commanding officer, who had resumed his scrutinizing of the crack on her ceiling. Her smile widened.

"Thank you Smoker-san."

_

**Yeah...this is what happens when you watch One Piece and babysit children who enjoy watching Dora. Anywho, hope you enjoyed reading as I did writing! Be sure to review, flames or flowers are excepted ^-^.**


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